The Second Coming Isn't Coming

Many Christians believe that Jesus is going to return soon.

There have been countless predictions, by many people all throughout history, about when this event will occur. But all of them have one thing in common: they were all wrong. Of course that will not stop others from predicting it will happen sometime in the future, but those predictions are also unlikely to come true.

As for the reason why, I refer you to this article titled: Biblical Proof that Jesus is not Coming Again.

The only thing I would add to the linked article above are the following verses which also show that Jesus' return wasn't meant for any other time than his own. These are Jesus' own words to his disciples:

Matthew 16:28: Verily I say unto you, There be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of man coming in his kingdom.

Mark 9:1: And he said unto them, Verily I say unto you, That there be some of them that stand here, which shall not taste of death, till they have seen the kingdom of God come with power.

Luke 9:27: But I tell you of a truth, there be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the kingdom of God.

Here are some good articles dealing with the second coming issue:

Jesus' and Paul's predictions about the end of the world.

Second Coming on Wikipedia

Biblical Bizarreness

In the book of Exodus, chapter four, we come upon a very strange part in the Exodus story.

Moses had just finished talking with the burning bush version of God and had been given the instructions of what he was to do in Egypt. Moses left and got his wife and sons and put them on a donkey, then began their trip to Egypt. Along the way, when Moses and his family were at an inn, God appeared and was very angry at Moses because his son Gershom wasn't circumcised. God was about to kill him until Zipporah, Moses' wife, made God's divine anger go away by circumcising the tyke. And with a sharp piece of flint no less! This apparently pleased God, so he let Moses live.

Um... what?!

This is one of the weirdest passages in the Bible and I have a theory about why the circumcision part of the story appears in the text in such an abrupt, out of nowhere kind of way. Here goes...

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The high priest dictating this story to the young scribe has just finished telling the part about Moses visiting with God who was in burning bush form and the instructions God had given him to do in Egypt. Then he suddenly remembers that he left out a crucial part about Moses' firstborn son not being circumcised yet and how that is a bad thing in the eyes of God (refer to Genesis 17:10-14). So the following dialogue takes place:

Priest: Curses!
Scribe (nervously): But sir, I wrote it down exactly as you said it...
Priest: No silly boy, I am not cursing you. I suddenly remembered something.
Scribe: Oh thank...
Priest: Bite your tongue boy! I forgot to convey the circumcision of Gershom. He was not yet circumcised and that is a covenant breaker to the Lord. We can't allow one of God's chosen men to have a covenant destroying kid now can we? Hold on, let me think...

(The priest paces back and forth in deep thought as the scribe waits dutifully with his feather-pen in hand. After a minute or so, the priest has an idea.)

Priest: Aha! I know what to do now. Write this down young scribe.

(He then proceeds to say the following passage in the Bible:)

And it came to pass by the way in the inn, that the LORD met him, and sought to kill him (Moses). Then Zipporah took a sharp stone, and cut off the foreskin of her son (Gershom), and cast it at his (Moses') feet, and said, "Surely a bloody husband art thou to me." So he (God) let him (Moses) go: then she said, "A bloody husband thou art, because of the circumcision." (Exodus 4:24-26)

Scribe (after he has jotted it down): Umm... sir, that is kind of out of the blue and really messes up the flow of the story. Moses had just been chosen by God to go and perform the signs before Pharaoh, right? Now all of sudden God wants to kill the man He just picked to do these wonders and then lead the Israelites out of Egypt?? And how did Moses' wife know what to do to please God??

(The high priest is silent in thought for a moment, then suddenly blurts out...)

Priest: Oh whatever! You better hope that the Lord forgives you! (stomps out of the room in a huff)

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It's just a theory. :)

Here's a link for you to check out: The Wise Fool has an article dealing this weird portion of the Exodus story on his blog.

Easter Thoughts

Today is Easter once again: the day that Christians believe that their savior rose from the dead in the first century. According to Acts 1:3, Jesus was seen for forty days after his resurrection.

I don't think the risen Jesus was seen by any historians during that time though, because they are silent on the matter. In fact, we only have the New Testament to rely on when it comes to the authenticity of this allegedly miraculous and divine event.

There are plenty of good reasons not to believe this story. The first being that the four gospels are hopelessly contradictory not only when it comes to the crucifixion and resurrection parts of the story, but in many other areas as well. Another reason is that these stories, and many others in the Bible for that matter, contain special numbers that suggest they are mythological in nature.

One more good reason not to believe it is because there is no independent evidence. As the saying goes, extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. But we don't have any. All we have are these contradictory accounts, and those aren't good evidence at all. So you have to either have to have faith and accept that they are true - in the face of all reason and common sense - or not accept them. Since you already know I am an atheist, that kind of spoils things for you, but no, I do not accept them. I'd like a good reason to believe the resurrection story, but there isn't one. The believer would probably say something along the lines of "But if you just believe it, accept Jesus as your savior and repent of your sins, you'll get to go to Heaven and have eternal life!" The problem with that is that it sounds too good to be true. And usually when that happens, it is too good to be true.

Some believers might say I am the crazy one for disbelieving that Jesus rose from the dead. Yep, I am a nutcase because I reject these claims that go against my own common sense. I am out of my mind for believing science when it says you can't get up and walk around after being dead for three days and for not being able to "just believe." I am apparently cuckoo (and not for Cocoa Puffs either) for believing that these stories are merely the products of men and not divinely inspired. If believing and disbelieving what I do is the definition of crazy, then I guess I am. I define it as being rational, however.

As it has been said, Christianity stands or falls on the resurrection story. For me, it comes up way short.

Enjoy the day, whatever you believe or do not believe... and don't eat too much candy. :)

I got some good links for you to check out:

A chart showing many of the contradictions in the Crucifixion/Resurrection accounts. -- If you only visit one of these links, make it this one.

The Jewish view of the resurrection story. -- This goes along with the above chart.

Richard Carrier: Why I Don't Buy The Resurrection Story

The history of Easter on History.com. -- Be sure to check out the Pagan Origins page also.

Fun With The Church Sign Generator

Imagine driving down the road on a nice sunny afternoon and seeing the following sign in front of a church.

That might make you slow down and do a double take.

According to the Bible (here and here) you aren't allowed to eat anything from the seas and rivers that don't have scales and fins. That means none of the items in the sign image, along with oysters, clams, and mussels.

The GodHatesShrimp.com about page describes in better detail than I can why following Leviticus 20:13 concerning homosexuality and not following the unclean seafood law is a bit contradictory.

Now let me tell you about the Church Sign Generator. Using it, you can do serious, or not so serious church signs - like mine. :)

The newer signs you can generate even let you specify a symbol to go on your sign, and there are lots of those to choose from. There are other generators available too, not just church signs. There's also a collection of real church signs that have funny sayings on them. I'll stop now since I am starting to sound like a commercial for the site. If you want to make your own sign, click the one I made above to be taken to the website. Have fun.

Check This Article Out

Just in time for Passover, Steve Wells (creator of the Skeptic's Annotated Bible - check the sidebar for the link) has re-posted his article titled: The Passover Plot -- God's Intelligently Designed Mass Murder.

First.Post.Ever.

This is my first post.

Let the fun begin. :)